Random Thoughts

Posted by on Sep 20, 2016

It finally dawned on me that I’m always writing very professional-sounding blog articles. They’re usually a slice of uplifting content sandwiched between educational information. I guess it’s my inner teacher trying to escape, or maybe it’s my way of ensuring that my blogs are relevant to everyone. That being said, most blogs are similar to a diary or journal, aren’t they? In that spirit, I’m going “rogue” on this blog entry and I’m just going to spew out some random, freestyle thoughts. There’s no pattern and no purpose here. The following information would be a psychologist’s wet dream because it’s a sneak peek inside my bizarre mind and may expose personality disorders I possess. Nevertheless . . . here’s what’s on my mind.

 

  1. My wife and I have talked about carrying a carton of eggs with us when we drive. We’d “egg” the car of each driver who was texting while driving. I think it’s a brilliant idea and a good way to deal with the anger that texting and driving causes us. Come on people! Texting and driving is just as dangerous as drunk driving. Don’t do it!! Or else I’ll make an omelet out of your Ford Fusion!
  2. If you really think about it, every day is a sunny day. Even when it’s dark and overcast, the sun is still shining up there. It’s just behind the clouds and we can’t see it. Just saying.
  3. Why don’t fast food places serve ketchup and mustard and taco sauce in bigger packets? Seriously. We end up using like 14 of those packets per food order. If they’d make the packets three times bigger, they could fit more sauce in there and we’d use less packets . . . therefore it would take less plastic to make them. It’s a win-win. Plus, less plastic makes Mother Earth happy. So it’s really a win-win-win.
  4. We really have a cool national flag if you think about it. Stars are cool. Stripes aren’t bad. Red, white, and blue are great colors. One stripe for each original colony. One star for each state. Works for me. There are lots of interesting national flags out there. Some are amazing and some are kind of odd. Did you know that the country of Mozambique is the only national flag that displays an automatic weapon? It’s true. Those dudes are sporting an AK-47 on their national flag. I know the U.S. isn’t well liked in all parts of the world, but let’s keep those guys on our good side. Agreed?
  5. Is anyone else alarmed at how much paperwork they hand you at the checkout line when they give you a receipt nowadays? Holy smokes, it’s as much paperwork as I filled out at the title company when I signed for my house. Let’s save some trees and stick with electronic/e-mail receipts. Can I get an Amen?
  6. You know what really makes me roll my eyes? When I see these big, huge, giant trucks that have a pair of metal testicles hanging from the back undercarriage. Come on guys! You’re basically announcing to the whole world that you have a small penis and are overcompensating. This pathetic attempt of displaying testosterone is unnecessary. One time, I pulled up behind a massive pickup truck that was tricked out will all the bells and whistles. I was expecting to see a pair of danglers underneath, but when I went to look, I noticed the guy’s license plate, which read, “SECURE”. I laughed my head off. Whether he was secure or not is up for debate, but the gentle sir definitely had a great sense of humor. Another time I saw one of those tiny, little “mini cars” that aren’t much bigger than a grocery cart. On the back window was a sticker that read, “Definitely not overcompensating here”. Again, I laughed hysterically, and it made my whole night.
  7. I wish that people had a better appreciation for dandelions. I feel they’re the Rodney Dangerfield of plants and weeds (they get no respect). They’re just as yellow and beautiful as daisies, but they’re not nearly as appreciated. It’s not fair. Hate them if you wish, but I think they’ve lovely.
  8. There are LITERALLY more stars in the Universe than all the grains of sand on every beach on planet Earth. Sadly, they’re so far away we probably won’t make contact with aliens in our lifetime. If we sent a message out into space 200,000 years ago when humans first came on the scene, that message would have barely made it past our cosmic back yard. It hasn’t reached 99.99999% of stars yet. And, we didn’t even send out a message 200,000 years ago. We only began broadcasting radio and TV signals into space a little over 100 years ago. Talk about a slow delivery time. I wish aliens would just get it over with and land on the White House lawn and wave a “how do ya do” at us. I bet they’re friendly. More or less.
  9. Why does orange juice taste so nasty after you brush your teeth? Is it just me?
  10. Have you ever locked eyes with the driver next to you when you’re stuck at a red light? It’s kind of awkward, isn’t it? Why do we do this? We wouldn’t walk up to their house and peek through their living room window, would we? Cars are our personal property. Maybe that’s why we feel so exposed sitting in traffic. It’s similar to sitting in our living room while people look at us. Just a thought.
  11. How come cell phones can do everything except make a call nowadays? For crying out loud, you can arm your house alarm, update your Facebook status, adjust the air conditioner, turn the channel on your T.V., and publish your e-book using your cell phone. But, they still drop calls just as often as they did 20 years ago when we had those brick phone and bag phones. Remember those? HAHA!
  12. Appropriately enough for number twelve, I’ve always wondered why they call it a baker’s dozen. 13 is considered a baker’s dozen, correct? Do they call it that because a baker was once feeling generous and threw in an extra doughnut or bagel and said, “Here, have a baker’s dozen!”??? Let me know if you find the answer to that question. And, let me know where that baker is located. A glazed doughnut (or 13) sounds pretty good right about now.